Moving On

The tiny little ballet slippers were held very carefully in a special bag, brought from home after being stashed in the back of a drawer for many years. These special slippers were brought along with Fiona’s big girl pointe shoes to be part of a photo shoot to commemorate the end of Fiona’s days in ballet training. It was time for Fiona to step back from ballet, which she had been seriously involved with since she was 5 years old. Now turning 16, she was ready to try new things, but not before coming with her mom to the photo studio to take some pictures of her looking beautiful in her tutu.

Her friends were sharing their audition photos to apply for summer intensives and professional ballet companies, but even though Fiona didn’t need photos for these purposes, Fiona’s Mom decided to have a full-fledged shoot anyways because the many years in her life spent working on becoming a ballet dancer was something to cherish and she wanted great photos! Those memories together going to ballet class were priceless. I can still remember the feeling of my mom’s loving hands putting my hair into a bun countless times, but I don’t have a single picture of it happening.

I just have a few far away, blurry pictures from not-so-good cameras of my youth in ballet, so it feels good to help other people get some great ones because I know how important they will be as years go by. Fiona felt very lucky to be doing this photo shoot, but understandably had some mixed feelings about leaving ballet and we got to talk a little about her decision. I could truly understand because I decided to leave around Fiona’s age.

Around 16 is the age of a dancer where you either go pro or step away, and it’s hard to know for sure if you are doing the right thing. I could tell that Fiona’s mind was clear and she already had a few new ideas that she was excited about. She smiled when she talked about starting to run on the track team! And we both stood tall and decided together that all the grace, poise, discipline, strength, stage presence, self-expression, and everything we both learned in those years in dance would serve us well in all we ever do in life! I have come to this conclusion time and time again. She already knows this fact, and I am confident that she will use these skills to her advantage and be a success.

Leaving something you’ve been working on for a long time can be hard, but when you trust your instincts and open that space for new adventures, things work out even better than you could ever imagine. I truly believe that!

We got some wonderful photos! The best ones were at the very end because she was more relaxed and remembered a time at the barre, stretching by herself. This was right after we talked about all the powerful qualities she has gained from ballet that she can carry through life. It was beautiful to witness how she embodied this perspective shift, went within, and realized her inner strength and poise. That self-confidence is now captured in photos.

The transformation from the beginning to the end of this photo shoot was amazing and beautiful to me- from holding her little baby ballet shoes in the earlier photos and posing for me and her mom, to the ending photos where she looks more grown up, elegant and ready to move on in life.  I love it when people get to experience an exploration in themselves. It doesn’t happen at every photo shoot, but when it does, I feel so grateful to be a part of this process of helping people to think about their lives in a different way. I feel like a compassionate witness and documentary storyteller, not just someone who takes pictures.

Fiona’s mom, Michelle, was inspired to write this poem after seeing the photos and what I wrote here:

As she danced through her childhood adorned in sugarcoated silk and tulle and melodies ringing aloud,

in stillness she now reflects and bravely prepares for the greatest dance steps that life lays ahead.

Life’s repertoire so full of sweet promise and swathed in gossamer melodic mystery.

I love you ,

my tiny dancer of life,

mommy.